for 13 years, i loved him to death, why am i wrighting this

For thirteen years, he was my best friend, ever since we were in kindergarten, during all school years, and now he just let go. I loved him so much, I cared about him so much, and I just cant forget. Lets call him sami. Before, I didn’t care about any thing, I didn’t care if any thing went wrong, because I knew that there will always be sami, standing just behind me, telling me that things will be all right, but now I am just to scared. After he left me, I discovered that I realy didn’t have any friends; real friend but him. I am posting this in this blog for couple of reasons, 1st I hope that this will make me feel better about it. And 2nd that I hope that you people out there would learn from my mistakes, so that you would never lose any of your friends and mostly your best friends; it feels so bad and it hurts so much, every hour minute and second of the day. I will be every couple of days posting part of my story with sami, and please tell me what you think, since I really need some support and advice